The battle continues

Betty and Helena are both in a quiet state right now a new personality is starting to appear Doris Depression it is an emotion or mood that I have dealt with since the age of 8. I have been on medicine for it however I have been off medicine for months now but I am stuck in a rut and trying hard to get some direction on what to do with myself. I need to sit down and write out a list of projects of things that need to be done around the house alone and start working on getting those things done then making out another list of things that I want to accomplish for myself. Such as getting back on an exercise program and getting rid of stuff that I do not wear or even use anymore getting rid of the clutter basically to make a way for me to be able to see things clearer in my life.

The past couple of days Doris has been making her presence known stronger than ever so for right now Betty and Helena have not been battling about what to eat I have yet to start exercising but I did get on the scale this week and I have lost a total of 20 lbs since starting the vegan diet plan that I have been on since April of this year. My blood sugar levels are still doing great and I have been trying out some vegan recipes making some desserts such as donuts and cupcakes I will be trying to make cookies next week I cannot wait to see how they come out in taste and flavor.

To be continued……

 

Being creative

I have decided to try something new and make some desserts that are healthy something that I can eat as well as my family. Because where I live there are no places around here that offer that type of sweet treat for diabetics to eat that are homemade and okay for us to eat that will not spike our blood sugar levels. Over the weekend I made some vegan cupcakes and some ice cream I enjoyed them both and they did not spike my blood level either. I cannot wait for my family to try them I have two daughters who are diabetic as well one is type 1 and the other is type 2. I plan on making some more cupcakes this week and will have my daughter take some into work to get some feedback about taste and showing people that getting healthy can have great taste and flavor as well.

 

Chaos

Betty and Helena are going at it today as far as getting motivated to get some things done. Betty has not started to exercise yet and Helena is really upset with her for not even trying to get it together. The battle between these two is like the yin and yang Betty’s sleep pattern has been off so there are limits to what is getting done around the house and in her life. There is a low-level of depression hanging around Betty wanting to hold on to old habits and old ways not sure what it is that she is getting out of it. Then there is Helena who is excited and ready for change and wants things to move forward but is being meant with resistance from Betty. My blood sugar levels are doing really good so I am not sure what the problem is in getting motivated to get things going with Betty. By looking around my house there is a lot of clutter I know I need to get this clutter organized and get rid of some things to make room for new opportunities and blessings that are trying to come my way.

Everyday living is a battle anymore but by having diabetes it seems to enhance the problems even more some days things seem and feel bigger than life. There are days that I feel like I cannot breath and that my throat is closing and I need to stop and count my blessings and focus on the positive things that I have going on around me. Well people this is the life of a diabetic no we are not crazy just fighting hard to survive.

To be continued….. 

 

Experimenting

Over the weekend I decided for Mother’s day I wanted to eat a turkey sub I ordered a small sub and ate half on Friday and the other half on Saturday. It raised my blood sugar level to 135 and I must say that I felt really weird especially on Sunday I was moody, sleepy and grumpy needless to say that I went right back to my vegan way of eating and I am much better now with my blood sugar levels and my mood.

I made vegan brownies today and they are do moist and I enjoy them not sure if my family will enjoy them I hope so the true test will be my granddaughter if she will eat them I will see come tomorrow when she comes after school. I also made some roast chicken and mexican rice for my husband I was in a serious cooking mood today I wanted to make something healthy and different today I enjoyed being in the kitchen again. Even Betty Butterbuns was happy with the brownies but was only allowed a small piece which made Helena Healthy happy.

 

Time for making changes

Day number 33 for being on the vegan diet and I must say that I am feeling pretty good now I just need to add exercising into my program I am not sure why it is such a road block for me to get started working out again. I have made the decision to come out of school and start working on improving myself I want to get back into cooking again this time I am leaning more towards the vegan style of cooking and planning on researching and find some recipes to try out. I will be taking on some projects for myself I will be cleaning out my exercise room and getting it ready and organized for me to start working out again on a daily basis. I have sent a few emails off to do some volunteer work such as helping out with doing websites, blogging and clerical work online I really like working with non-profit organizations.

My vision is getting better and it looks like I should be able to get out and drive soon which I am so excited about I will be able to take my granddaughter and my mother places like to the healthy food stores and the park. I want to be able to take my granddaughter to Dutch Wonderland this summer before it gets too hot out there and maybe a trip to the zoo will be in order as well.

 

Making decisions

Found out today that someone I use to work with passed away from a heart attack and she was only 50 years old with no major health problems this really makes me think about what am I doing with my life right now and what can I do to make things better for my family and myself. I would like to do something that I love to do before I leave this world the sad part is I am not really sure what it is that I really enjoy doing there are some things that I enjoy such as cooking, reading, Native American history, traveling and learning new things.  Time to step out on faith and time to start living and enjoying life we are not promised to be here tomorrow so live and enjoy each day as if it were your last.

So I have decided to sign up to do some volunteer work online from Volunteer Match.org hopeful I can get something that will keep me busy and I will be able to help people out. I am leaning towards quitting school for now and start to really work on me and getting myself together and I have to start with one thing at a time and the first thing is getting my health together and I mean really together. From my eating habits to my physically habits and my spiritual habits and everything else will fall into place.

I will keep you posted…….

 

Elastic can be your best friend

Betty wanted me to write this about elastic waist pants has been her best friend for the longest time for the fact whether you gain weight or loss weight they can go up or down with your waist without cutting off circulation like regular pants do. Plus an oversized top so that I can feel comfortable in I do not like to wear shirts that fit tight and show everything that is wrong with your shape. It will be nice to one day to be able to go shopping and know that I will find clothing that will fit me and that I will feel good about myself. Helena is trying hard to encourage me to exercise so I can get in shape and maybe one day take part in a diabetes walk to help with diabetes awareness. Just sharing some humor today about clothing and the type of clothing that I wear now and in the past.

Feeling okay today not thinking about too much just trying to find some direction for myself so I am being still and waiting to hear and see what the Lord has in store for me. In the meantime I have to keep working on getting better health wise and I need to start taking on some new projects around the house. In doing some cleaning I came across a diabetes walk card that was sent to me that is coming up in September thinking about doing it and challenging myself to step out of the box. This would make Helena Healthy so happy if I get motivated to do this and start training for the walk.

Well what have I been eating fruits, veggies, beans, rice, pasta and oatmeal I have been finding some great recipes on the internet for vegetarian way of eating. Sometimes it can be challenging for me because I do have cravings for meat things like a cheeseburger or a turkey sub but so far I have been doing good and pushing through it. I have to remind myself that I do not want to feel bad again so that helps me get to the other side for now with my cravings.    

http://stepout.diabetes.org/site/TR?company_id=13810&pg=national_company

 

Still going strong

Day 28 of being on the vegan diet and I am slowly seeing Betty Butterbuns quieting down and letting Helena Healthy take over. Went to a Mexican restaurant yesterday and I ate from the vegetarian section of the menu which was a cheese burritos, rice and refried beans it was wonderful in taste and flavor. However when it came time for dessert I so wanted to get fried ice cream but I knew that I could not because the dairy would spike my blood sugar levels and with me trying to get over this bout with sixth nerve palsy I cannot afford another set back. So I passed on dessert I ate three spoonfuls of my husband’s dessert which was flan it was very good and I can honestly say that I enjoyed just having a taste.

I am having a struggle today trying to decide whether or not to continue going to school right now I am just really not into it and I am not sure why or what is going on. I am more concerned in getting my health in order and start to do things that I use to enjoy doing in life and I feel that by going to school I have to spend so much time on getting assignments done and understanding how the process work in class.

Exercising I have not started that yet I am hoping to get into it start this week since a new month is starting and I am close to 30 days of being on a new way life with my eating habits I think it is time to start.

Took my blood sugar tonight two hours after eating my dinner and Praise the Lord it was 80 I have not seen those number in over 18 years since before I was diagnosed with this disease. The vegan diet is really working for me I am so excited to finally be having some control over my blood sugar levels.

To be continued…..

 

Cravings

I have been having cravings for the past two days for a turkey sub and apple pie that is Betty Butterbuns letting me know that she is still alive and breathing within me despite the fact that I have changed over to a vegan diet which I have been doing 25 days now. I am maintaining my diet so far but the cravings are really strong but in the same respect I do not want to feel bad and have my blood sugar levels spike back up either so in the end is it worth it.

For some reason I am feeling a little anxious today not really sure why I am feeling this way I slept pretty good for me it could be that I have cabin fever. I have been pretty much stuck in the house for most of the week I am not able to drive at this time due to my sixth nerve palsy and having double vision in my left eye this is my third time having this within a year. That is why I need to take this disease serious before something else occurs with my health that could be worse.

Lord I ask that you give me the strength to get through these cravings that I am having…..

 

Discovering myself

After being deep in thought I have realized that I no longer want to be in school that it is no longer my passion there is no rewards to it for me anymore. I realize that I want to help people and do something positive with my life. Being a type 2 diabetic is hard and no one can really understand the pain and suffering that comes with this disease and I want to touch people’s hearts to let them know that they are not alone and that they are not a bad person if they fall off the cart and eat something that they should not and their sugar spikes. From having serious mood swings that you think something is majorly wrong with you and that family and friends do not understand what is wrong with you. I want to do something that is going to fill my soul and my heart I want to work with other diabetics and really bring out information about the disease.